Why I’m Done Competing

I’m officially closing the chapter with Competing. It has changed. And so have I.

I did 7 shows between 2012-2016. I had a lot of fun, met wonderful people, made great memories, and won some trophies with it too. I haven’t competed since May 2016 and won’t again. In fact, I’m done with bodybuilding and competing as a whole.

After my last season, I knew it was time to take a serious break. I wanted and needed to regulate my hormones and my husband & I talked about starting a family in the next few years. Overall health became my number 1 focus. Since I was not taking the stage, I took on some competition clients. I’ve had the pleasure of coaching ladies for shows & they had great success.

I always prepped myself and my clients’ with as much consideration to their overall health as possible. I’ve never had my clients do anything I wouldn’t do myself. Dieting and cardio was necessary, but it was never excessive or dangerous (calories stayed above 1300 and cardio under an hour/day). I always made sure to prioritize their rest & recovery as well. Even with a “balanced approach”, competing and prep is very hard & has consequences, short and possibly long term.

My level of enthusiasm for my clients was always high & I got great satisfaction seeing them accomplish their goals. I had a ton of fun at the shows, admired the athletes & their hard work, and overall was happy to be around the hobby & sport I loved.

But as time went on, with each show I went to as a spectator/coach/supporter, the more I felt my passion for competing diminish. The feeling of FOMO wasn’t there, I didn’t think “man I can’t wait till I compete again” or even “I wish I looked like that again”.

Last weekend I went to a show my client was in & if she wasn’t competing…I wouldn’t have gone. I felt so out of place. This wasn’t my “community”. I respect the sport and the work people put in, but I can’t support it anymore…not by participating or coaching clients. And I am totally OK with it.

Bodybuilding and Competitions have changed over the years. The evolution of the bikini division is almost unrecognizable from when it first started in 2009/2010. The level of conditioning & leanness that women now must get to in order to actually be competitive is to me, extreme & unreasonable. The standards are now unrealistic if one wants to maintain any sense of health.

Bikini competitors used to strive for a tight, “toned” physique, with some definition and lines but were attractive and “fitness model-esque”. Now Bikini is what Figure used to be; lots of muscular development, very lean with obvious definition, veins, etc. I see Bikini ladies who basically have a “Figure” division body, but in a different suit and posing.

I don’t admire or like where the Bikini division has gone in terms of their desired physique and judging criteria. I personally don’t want to get to that level of conditioning or think it is attractive. I won’t compete again because frankly, the “bikini look” is not what I PERSONALLY want for myself. I also am stepping back and not coaching competition clients anymore either. I can’t get behind and support pushing women to get THAT lean and small.

The blond photo of me is from 2014 at the NPC Northcoast Championships (the same show I went to last weekend).

Now in bodybuilding, women START their prep at THIS level of leanness. This physique is beautiful (yes, I am proud of it!) but I wouldn’t place at all in any show.

Veins, glute-ham tie ins, & capped shoulders are now the norm. So many competitors get the feedback of “Just come in tighter…a little leaner”, but to what extent?! These competitors are so tiny and so lean. Is getting “that much tighter” worth that trophy? Is it worth all the stress on your body and mind during prep, and possibly years to come? Even when you are done competing, those thoughts of “being leaner/smaller/bigger” etc. stay with you for a long time.

Competitions and Prep can be extremely detrimental to your health if you allow it. I know women personally who have coached with popular/big name prep coaches. These “professionals” have ladies eating 1000 calories a day. What???!?! Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. Extreme dieting and hours of cardio a day is considered “normal”. That is what people now think that’s what it takes to see results and to get on stage. It’s outrageous, unhealthy and extremely upsetting as a former competitor but also a fitness and health professional.

I didn’t realize the long term subconscious effects competing has had on me. I’m done competing, but I hadn’t fully accepted my body as it is. I’m now at the weight I was before I ever competed. But I NEVER thought about my weight/size as much as I do now.

And I’m not even going to discuss the physical HEALTH consequences of competing! That is a whole other post!!

Closing this chapter has not been easy for me to accept. Physically, I am used to a “bikini” body. Mentally and emotionally, I am attached to that body but also to that lifestyle. Whether I realized it or not, I wanted to look a certain way, work out based on the judge’s feedback, and stay around a certain size because if I didn’t…I wouldn’t be fit in into the bodybuilding community.

This was “my normal”, my passion, my environment for years. I enjoyed it! But God has been weighing on my heart for some time now to truly let go of competing.

It’s been a journey to find a “new normal”. I don’t regret competing. But God’s plan has lead me into a new path with passions in other directions. I’m looking forward to helping others in MUCH bigger ways than just fitness. Health Coaching is now my top priority. Building a physique is great, but it doesn’t compare at all to overall long term HEALTH.

There is tons more I could speak to about competing. That can be for another time 🙂

So, good bye bodybuilding world. You’ve been great, but it’s time to move on.